The multi- passionate You!


If you have read my About me page…you will sense that I am a multi-passionate person. It’s a gift. Most of my young life I didn’t I didn’t have an answer to the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” my answer is always a list.. more than 3 may be 6.  Growing  older and experienced so much more, the answers grew and embarrassingly complex. To some it can look like i am a non-committal person because, I’d throw myself into something, I mean really put in the efforts then suddenly, I’d feel the need to pull off and to focus on another passion, again by throwing myself into to it…on and on it goes.
Believe me, I know and understand the rule of “commit and stick it out, no matter what”. Great rule .. but I struggle to get out and become a single passionate person. I feel weighed down.  If you are a person who is curious about a wide range of topics then you  will agree with me that you do not need to pick one of those topics to the exclusion of other interests. May be you can possibly integrate other subject into your work and retain enough flexibility to explore new ideas.

I  realised that my strengths of starting things and jumping in wholeheartedly means that I  learn better by doing and  Contrary to what the dominant paradigm would have you believe, having multiple passion  is not a weakness. To others it may appear like you are a procrastinator. Jumping around unsure and indecisive. Oh no , It does not make you jack-of-all-trades either! Having many interests can be a source of great personal and financial fulfillment, and with a bit of creativity, almost any career can be made more plural in nature. After we are human beings , very dynamic creatures. We couldn’t put ourselves into a box even if we tried.

This understanding  helps me to be less anxious of what other think of me  and how I choose to do my things. I am  less critical of me but  embrace my passions even better because, balancing life with  Career, kids, a family, a big health scare  and then feeling like it’s time to break free, move on and change things, all while trying to establish own digital platform as a business is , overwhelming for some but  I keep on going. My desire has always been to live out and to share pure living , so I explore and aim to be more creative in what I do.  I care deeply about personal development.  I am gifted to empathetically listen to people’s struggles and know what they need to hear to open them up to growth and healing not be held back by their current situations  hence, I use different methods to communicate inspiration.

So, if you’re multi-passionate person, there’s a good chance that there is a wealth of creativity residing within you. Use that creativity to come up with unique ways to incorporate your multiple passions into your vision!!

Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you. ~ Oprah Winfrey..

 

how well do you know your partner?

The label narcissist is used loosely these days, typically to indicate anyone who is otiose and self-interested, egocentric, self -absorbed, selfish and self centred but this is a true subtle personality disorder and its traits run much deeper, and carry long-term draining, demanding and challenging effects for those involved with these people. Just saying… for example, (God forbid)..you are married or in a relationship with a narcissist, you will likely feel more like an object to be used and manipulated to meet the narcissistic partner’s goals and needs. …

Here Are 20 Ways to Tell… is your partner a narcissists.. (By Psychology Today)

  1. When something goes wrong, does your partner blame everyone but himself or herself?
  2. Does your partner refuse to be accountable for his or her bad behavior? (For example, “You made me so mad that I couldn’t help . . .”)
  3. Does your partner believe he or she is always right?
  4. Is your partner unable to tune in to your feelings or your children’s feelings?
  5. Does your partner carry grudges against you and others?
  6. Is your partner constantly telling you what to do? Is your partner critical and judgmental of you and your friends?
  7. Does your partner make you feel “not good enough”? Have your partner’s constant put-downs caused you to assume this message?
  8. Does your partner ever ask about you, your day, or your feelings, even in transient?
  9. Does your partner lie and then make you feel guilty? Do you have to cover up for your partner?
  10. Does your partner lack empathy for you? Have you consistently questioned if your partner loves you?
  11. When something difficult happens in your life (for instance, an accident, illness, a death in your family or circle of friends), does your partner react with immediate concern about how it affects you rather than with concern for him?
  1. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with your partner?
  1. Does your partner manipulate/ tell different people different stories about the same event, spinning the story so that he or she looks good?
  2. Does your partner mistrust everyone? Is your partner all about image and how things look to others? Does your partner act jealous of you/ your status/your strength/your wealth…
  3. Is your partner critical and judgmental of you and others?
  4. Do you feel that your partner does not know and value the real you and does not want to know the real you?
  5. Does your partner appear phony to you?
  6. Does your partner try to compete with you?
  1. Does your partner always have to have things his or her way?
  2. Do you feel used by your partner? Does your partner always have to have things his or her way?

 

Of course, there is hope and healing and if you are determined and are struggling with an emotionally abusive relationship … I encourage you to reach out, get help, and learn as much as you can about this deceptive disorder. You deserve to be loved and cherished, as do your children!!!

Lessons to help you manage your emotions

I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them. Oscar Wilde

 

I have been undergoing some enduring treatments lately. My colleague rang me from work to find out how I was doing. “Coping” I replied. Every day is a challenge though, I added. She made a comment about how I seemed to have such a positive outlook on life.

To say that I have a positive outlook on life was a huge compliment for me but then, I couldn’t help feeling she was assuming things. I couldn’t help it. This simple suggestion of me having positive outlook in my current situation ignited quite some anxieties in my brain. I know how I feel now- incapable of being as active and in hurry like my old self. I contemplated that as an outsider looking into another person’s world, she is only getting a very narrow view of the big picture, does she really know how I am feeling these days? Honestly, To get troubled over something that silly partly because I felt my ego was not being rubbed.. she did not take my condition into account. I acknowledged right then that,I was struggling to remain positive about my challenging situation and my silent mantra set in: accept your circumstance. Having a positive attitude feels better than a negative one. This mantra helps me become aware of my emotion, take control and not to be controlled by it. It worked for me but remember that, you are not your emotions—you have the ability to decide if they should lead you or if you lead them.

 

For years, I was a robot. I saw everything as a battle—it felt like everyone else against me. Alone,in my busy world, bliss. I didn’t know that by not making a conscious choice to do something better or be something better; I was following a path to unhappiness. I didn’t understand that every day it was my choice to consciously choose how I lived my life. I thought I was ok. I was not happy. I was snappy and miserable. I had to change.

It was a journey but the most beautiful thing I discovered about myself was when I begin to unwrap the well packaged me to unfold the person I was meant to be. That is, my true self. Transformed my negative-focused outlook to a more positive-focused one. Understood the difference between self-awareness and self-victimization. Learned that Self-awareness requires honesty and courage. It felt good.

Today, I’ve remained on that new path, and I am working steadfastly to maintain it. I am not they yet but I make choices that align with my values and goals, and I don’t settle down for second best.

The older and wiser me has learned to be more aware of my emotions and to check in with myself many times and on several levels before allowing my emotion to control me.

 

Lessons to help you manage emotions  

 

Do not dismiss your emotions.

 Emotions can only be released after they’ve been acknowledged and heard. They have to be felt. But when we don’t acknowledge them and push them away as unhealthy or bad, they begin to stack up. When you find yourself riding the wave of emotion, it’s important not to dismiss those feelings when you are at the height. Verify your emotion. Give it attention. Become aware. Where do these feelings come from? It is at this place of awareness that we can see what power they may hold over us.. if at all.

 

Watch out for your triggers.

If you struggle with specific strong emotions, such as, jealousy, anger or fear, try to be more conscious of the circumstances that may trigger them.

For me, I struggle with feeding off and even depending on other people’s sympathy. I often feel angry when I am ignored or unappreciated.. So if I have a headache and my husband does not show concern or ignores me, I feel the sensation of anger beginning come up inside.

Before now, I would have given in with a long face and generally grumpy for days! Now I am in harmony with myself. I can recognize and subdue my strong thoughts.

Know that emotion results from thought. If we find ourselves experiencing strong emotions, it’s useful to examine the thoughts that led to them. Write it down. Then ask the question, are these thoughts facts and based on truth, or just my perception of the truth?  Follow up with a positive action question to engage with another such as, what positive thing can I do for myself this moment? If you don’t have time to write, try to at least ask the questions.

 

Take responsibility.

Learning to peel off the layers of yourself will enable you to reach beyond those defensive boundaries you have set in place to defend you from dealing with your difficult and painful experiences and memories. The truth is no one can exist solely in positive emotions. Thinking that we can is setting ourselves up to fail. True that other people’s behavior and actions may affect us, but we need to take responsibility for the emotions we feel in response to their words and actions. No one can make you feel whatever; it’s always your choice. So often the reactive emotions we feel are based on our perception of the truth, and on the things that matter to us. Being ignored may be one of my triggers for anger, but for someone else it may be their custom and no big deal.

Awareness gives us the power to choose how we respond.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before you go: please share this story

Be empowered ..

 Who is an an empowered woman?

I often ask myself sometimes.. Is she someone with power, self determination and the free will to make choices or simply someone who live life the way they want and not how they should..

whatever being empowered means to you … Truth is…

You . are. Alive

Stronger. Beautiful. Worthy and Amazing.

Warm. Giving and in tune.

More loved than you know.

Exuberant. Intelligent. Growing. Glowing.

Scared. Flawed. Focused. Balanced.

Self reliant. Extraordinary than you dare to believe..

A passionate carer. Imaginative. Thoughtful and Graceful.

There may be chaos around.. Choose paradise inside of you…

Care. Less about the changing skies..

Be the heroine in your life… Not the Victim.

Be You…

 

 

 

 

 

Something More… but what?

 

Ok. You are here. Yes.Here.

This minute. Now. Looking at your screen. Tick tock. The clock ticks on and Zoom. The seconds and minutes pass. Oops. The day is gone. Then, the week. A year.

It’s gone. Yes. Here today. Gone tomorrow. But you are somewhere here.. on planet earth!

Happy? Satisfied?  It is your call.

Now you are here. What’s bothering you? what are you thinking..

Discouraged. Scared. Unsure. Anxious. Trapped. Unfulfilled. Stuck in a dead-end job. Overwhelmed

by society’s expectations. Or just spent days wishing that things would simply transform.

You WANT MORE..

Friends? Status? Power? Good grades? Dates? Attachment? Money ? spirituality? Shoes? Kids ? Cars .. etc…etc,..etc

You dare to remember the feelings you had afterwards,  i mean when you got some of what you really wanted. Did you feel somewhat like grand or hmmm ..that didn’t drastically change life like I thought it would.

What did you do? Went back to the drawing board to Start again?

You see , people can get so hung up on wanting more that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want more. It is like running breathlessly and feeling Thirsty, but not yet arrived. Quite exhausting, so defer a moment and breathe…

You see, the constant itch in your life. That feeling that something is missing. That feeling that there must be something more for you IN this life and definitely something more TO life. It’s like being trapped in an unsatisfying existence. One big question is: if life has no limits at all and you could have it all and do whatever you wanted, what would you choose to have and what would you choose to do and be satisfied ?

Your desire to succeed and the urge to reach your full potential will depend on taking the time to answer another big question : what do you admire about others .. could it be a quality that is in you?.. . The more you can apply your passions, strengths, values, desires, and motivations into your days, the happier your life ahead!

Discovering the wisdom of self-knowledge will ensure a meaningful and fulfilling life for you!

You are not alone

 

I don’t know. If being in love only made people more lonely, but why would everyone want it so much?

Right now, all around the world people just like you are lonely.

They’re missing somebody. Probably in love with that forbidden person someone they shouldn’t have been in love with. They have secrets you wouldn’t believe. I have been here. In this illusion. I fell in love, it was intoxicating, and for a while I felt on cloud seven . Like soul mates. With merged souls. You know. I thought, I will never be lonely again.

The reality is .. you can only get so close. It didn’t last.

I felt like a caged bird waiting to be freed. Hidden behind my true self. With my hurt and many scars. No one took notice. If they did, they didn’t say anything. Waiting. Hoping. Dreaming forever? I find myself alone in this world and very sad. Abandoned and truly alone. I needed someone to talk to, to confide in and share my problems with. I have nobody to cheer me up, nobody to love or love me back. Every time I see couples holding hands, or just straightforwardly sitting together I just look away. It’s not that I abhor lovers. But because it reminds me of a question I am yet answer…”Where’s mine?”

Face the truth. You know you can’t be lonely forever. But, how do you begin to come to terms with your very betrayed self?

You know you have to face it… Not knowing, not caring what to do anymore, just lonely. Waiting to be saved in a world where people are not what they seem.

Do not be upset friend. You are not alone.

Have you been lying awake worrying? Acting like you are fine. Everyone thinks you are okay, yet when the lights are off, you all alone, the tears start flow..

No need. Well, don’t worry… the sun will shine tomorrow and if it does not .. you are not alone.

Share your thoughts here. Where you will find people who will understand you, and help your growth journey .. who knows may be answer the big question :

Will I ever have a happy ending?