How do parents’ relationships change when the first baby arrives?
There are many hurdles and difficult obstacles to overcome when you have your first baby, not least of which is your relationship with yourself and with your partner. Your family has grown by half overnight, and now all your energy is channelled in a completely different direction. It is totally natural for the relationship between the parents to change quite significantly, so let’s embrace these changes and learn and grow with them. One of the first things you may notice is the way your conversations go.
You no longer sit nurturing a cup of tea together and discussing your day. Both your heads are filled with thoughts and concerns about your baby: do need more nappies, how is the baby sleeping, will you need to express more milk? Your focus is different now, and this is okay. But try to wedge in a few minutes every day just to say “How are you?”, or “Tell me about your morning”.These small, non-baby moments help you keep connected to each other, even if just for a moment.
Dealing with Chores:
Unfortunately, housework never goes away, and after a baby it piles up at an even more alarming rate. With little time and a lot less energy, this can seem like a daunting task. Don’t expect your other half to be a mind-reader, just ask for them to help out. Please and thank you goes a long way, too. Appreciate the little things each other does, because on certain days, a full bowl of washing up may drive you crazy.
It’s true that after a baby –especially for a woman – sex is pretty much off the cards. If it is on the cards, it must be planned meticulously. So, plan it. If, after a few months, you have both ‘got the hang of it’ a little bit, get a sitter or a grandparent for the night and go out for a date. Visit a favourite restaurant or bar, get dressed up, and have an evening with just the two of you. Keep baby talk to a minimum and enjoy yourselves. Sex may still be a no-no at this point, and that’s fine. Just take small, enjoyable steps.It’s not just mothers that experience an overhaul in the hormone department, either. Your relationship may change because you are both changing with your baby. A man becoming a father can lessen his testosterone and increase his affection and bond to his child. This may help you understand what you are both going through, and why you may be snapping at each other more read. In the end, your duo is now a trio.
In learning to enjoy your relationship as parents, you can also learn to enjoy your relationship as a family.
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Loneliness always seeps in unexpectedly.
It can arrive silently: while lying in the arms of the love of your life. It is there when you are busy measuring your body responses to the delicate touches that commands the quickening of pulse as the heart races.
Little by little, the touch that once brought sparkle to the eyes, goose-bumps to the skin of the neck suddenly begins to gradually dwindle. You begin to lean into the pull-back affection, more hugs than kiss. Longer waiting time between replies, you sit, staring at your phone — wishing calamity upon anyone who dares to text /message during the silence. You wish and hope that it is not true. We love each other, you reassure yourself while looking out the window whenever a car drove pass.
Loneliness is the isolation that comes with nuturing an unreturned feeling — an expectation not met.
It all started as a beautiful plan, you were in love, cared for each other, then you were left alone.
Spending time alone can be more fun when it is by choice. It only hurts if it is the result of separation or abandonment..
People who fear being alone are afraid to truely look in the mirror.
The image reflecting back at you is your own monster.. . do not run from it.. embrace it with kindness. Do not deny You.
Living in denial causes loneliness. During the light of day, with many company you fake contentment but when darkness falls and you have to be with yourself- you will be anxious, afraid and terrified.
Learn how to face the truth. Accept the consequences of your actions. Make peace within you … it is the only way to set your spirit free.
Now the day is over.. Is mom happy. Content. Proud. Loved more than ever. Satisfied?
You see, mom’s natural state of mind always remains unselfishness. Hence Mother’s Day was all about saying or a chance to say thank you mom. I love you mom for the love given. For all the tender care. Making odd things to look perfect . Always putting the child first. Being there at the best times as well as the worst.
Charles Stanley explains that, motherhood is a great honour and privilege ,yet it is also synonymous with servanthood. Every day women are called upon to selflessly meet their family needs. Whether they are awake at night nursing a baby, spending their time and money on less-than-grateful teenagers or preparing meals, moms continuously put others before themselves .
At the end of Mother’s Day , whether your emotion was completeness or happiness .. You. mom. Remains the sunshine to light their days!
I am new to writing on line but everyone’s been doing this for years. So spare a moment to wish me well. Thanks.
New year.new beginning. New routines. New me. New you. New thoughts . Probably new ways of seeing things . Looking at things. Ignoring things. Selective hearing and responses…not forgetting spirituality. The gym. Ah … Forgiving /forgetting those things that hurt the most !
2015. What have you got in store for us!
We are hopeful. Expectant. Optimistic. Ecstatic . Yet most. Maybe some are resistant. Unsure. Stuck. Unforgiving. Fearful. Resentful . Paranoid. Hateful. Not bothered. Worried. Anxious or just very Happy. Grateful. Humbled. To see a New promising year!
How is Your 2015 so far?