The label narcissist is used loosely these days, typically to indicate anyone who is otiose and self-interested, egocentric, self -absorbed, selfish and self centred but this is a true subtle personality disorder and its traits run much deeper, and carry long-term draining, demanding and challenging effects for those involved with these people. Just saying… for example, (God forbid)..you are married or in a relationship with a narcissist, you will likely feel more like an object to be used and manipulated to meet the narcissistic partner’s goals and needs. …
Here Are 20 Ways to Tell… is your partner a narcissists.. (By Psychology Today)
- When something goes wrong, does your partner blame everyone but himself or herself?
- Does your partner refuse to be accountable for his or her bad behavior? (For example, “You made me so mad that I couldn’t help . . .”)
- Does your partner believe he or she is always right?
- Is your partner unable to tune in to your feelings or your children’s feelings?
- Does your partner carry grudges against you and others?
- Is your partner constantly telling you what to do? Is your partner critical and judgmental of you and your friends?
- Does your partner make you feel “not good enough”? Have your partner’s constant put-downs caused you to assume this message?
- Does your partner ever ask about you, your day, or your feelings, even in transient?
- Does your partner lie and then make you feel guilty? Do you have to cover up for your partner?
- Does your partner lack empathy for you? Have you consistently questioned if your partner loves you?
- When something difficult happens in your life (for instance, an accident, illness, a death in your family or circle of friends), does your partner react with immediate concern about how it affects you rather than with concern for him?
- Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with your partner?
- Does your partner manipulate/ tell different people different stories about the same event, spinning the story so that he or she looks good?
- Does your partner mistrust everyone? Is your partner all about image and how things look to others? Does your partner act jealous of you/ your status/your strength/your wealth…
- Is your partner critical and judgmental of you and others?
- Do you feel that your partner does not know and value the real you and does not want to know the real you?
- Does your partner appear phony to you?
- Does your partner try to compete with you?
- Does your partner always have to have things his or her way?
- Do you feel used by your partner? Does your partner always have to have things his or her way?
Of course, there is hope and healing and if you are determined and are struggling with an emotionally abusive relationship … I encourage you to reach out, get help, and learn as much as you can about this deceptive disorder. You deserve to be loved and cherished, as do your children!!!